Greenland Says ‘Hands Off’

Greenland’s total population is slightly under 57,000 people. In the US, that same number of people would likely reside in the same small town. But in Greenland, they’re spread out all over the place with no roads connecting any of its cities. Transportation is done by snowmobile, airplanes, boats, or, if you’re just crazy, snow shoes. More often than not, its elections, which choose its representatives to Denmark, go without any mention at all in word news.

Not this one.

After US President Felonious Punk made a big deal of first “invading” Greenland and then possibly buying it, the held there on Tuesday had more significance than any in their 300-year history. Nearly 50,000 people voted and the outcome surprised everyone, including the winners. The message they sent: We will be independent.

Long a colony of Denmark, independence has been on the mind of Greenlanders for quite a while. In fact, it was part of the platform for every party represented in the election. The biggest difference between them was how to approach independence, with some going for a rip-off-the-bandaid approach and others preferring a more cautious, negotiated separation from Denmark.

The winning party, the center-right Demokraatit party won 30% of the vote and favors a slower approach, but makes no concession to the United States, either. Party leader Jens-Frederik Nielsen voters should use the election to warn the US president not to meddle in their future. “I hope it sends a clear message to him that we are not for sale,” he said. “We don’t want to be Americans. No, we don’t want to be Danes. We want to be Greenlanders. And we want our own independence in the future. And we want to build our own country by ourselves, not with his help.”

One candidate, Qupanak Olsen, told reporters (who almost numbered more than those voting), “It’s making us aware, we are worth more than what the Danish people have been telling us for the last 300 years, maybe we can stand on our own two feet.” Even Ms. Olsen rejected any moves towards joining the US, saying Greenland would not swap 300 years of colonialism under Denmark for more of the same under the US.

Few Americans understand what makes Greenland so desirable to President Punk. The short answer is location and minerals. That is superficial, however. The US already has military bases on the island and has been invited to build more. The same goes for mineral exploration. No US company has been turned away. The reason there aren’t more companies mining the precious minerals of Greenway is because doing so is difficult and expensive. The frozen ground is difficult to break through, even on the surface. Just putting up a simple shelter costs a US company several times more than it would elsewhere.

Instead, speculation is that the President wants full possession of the country so that he can decide who has access to the minerals and who doesn’t. Greenland has been fairly open, allowing access to pretty much anyone who thinks they can make a go of it. The US President would prefer that he be the one making those calls, keeping Russia and China at bay.

Greenland, for their part, wants to focus on self-governance and healthcare. Cancer rates among the native Innuit are especially high and medical costs have been soaring. They see independence as the only way to make sure that Greenlanders get the type of government they want. No one else need apply.

The US President has yet to respond to Tuesday’s election. He already has his hands full with other problems he’s created, such as a trade war with most of the rest of the world.

Greenland is happy his attention is elsewhere.