Homeland Security: Take Yourself Home, Please

In the continuing ridiculous and harmful war on immigration, Homeland Security has a new theme: Go ahead and deport yourself. The order affects roughly 530,000 people who are in the US on a temporary ‘humanitarian parole’ visa. Each person has a financial sponsor. They were all promised two years in the US to work. They’re all here because the conditions in their home country were dangerous and, in some instances, unlivable.

Felonious Punk [insert boos and insults here], campaigned on ending humanitarian parole. One shouldn’t be surprised; he’s neither human nor humane. If he were, the country wouldn’t be in its current deplorable condition, would it? No one has yet to figure out what exactly the President has against people from Central and South America. Maybe someone beat him to the last piece of shrimp at the buffet. He focused particularly, though not exclusively, on immigrants from our Southern neighbors throughout the campaign and has made them the victims of many of his early actions.

The Department of Homeland Security said Friday that it will revoke legal protections for hundreds of thousands of Cubans, Haitians, Nicaraguans, and Venezuelans, setting them up for potential deportation in about a month, or by April 24. Here’s the catch: with all the layoffs and terminations that have swept through federal agencies, Homeland Security doesn’t have the staff to round up 530,000 people, even if they used office workers.

So, as part of her statement yesterday, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem ‘suggested’ that immigrants go ahead and “deport themselves.” Does anyone else see the problem with that or is it just us? If the agency is depending on everyone to self-deport, how will they know when/if they’re gone? Sure, there’s a mobile app that almost no one is using, but the fact is that attempting to track that many people who might be leaving requires more manpower than deporting them the regular way. Immigrants might go back to their home countries, or they might go somewhere else. We hear Bermuda is nice this time of year. They might not go anywhere at all. If they change addresses and don’t register, who’s going to track them down?

Neither is anyone talking about how the loss of 530,000 jobs is going to affect the economy. Major League Baseball could lose both players and staff. Who’s going to replace them? Certainly not some overweight, pasty white former federal worker. The truth is that many of these jobs will go unfilled. Unemployment hasn’t been high enough to fill all the blanks. The concept of immigrants taking jobs from Americans has always been a myth.

This whole mess only amplifies the degree to which the administration doesn’t know what they’re doing on immigration. On Friday, Venezuela’s Interior Minister Diosdado Cabello said that none of the hundreds of Venezuelans deported by the U.S. to a Salvadoran prison is a member of Venezuela’s Tren de Aragua criminal gang, the reason Washington gave for expelling them. “I believe with absolute responsibility that not a single one appears on the organizational chart of the now-extinct Tren de Aragua organization, not a single one,” Cabello said.

At the same time, in a hearing on Friday, Judge James Boasberg said he was concerned that President Punk was using the Alien Enemies Act when there was neither an invasion nor a declared state of war to deport migrants his administration determined were gang members, but the migrants were unable to contest the designation.

That caused President Shitforbrains to claim, “I don’t know when it was signed because I didn’t sign it.”  Funny, the proclamation invoking the Alien Enemies Act appears in the Federal Register with Punk’s signature at the bottom.

The White House version of damage control was, “President [Punk] was obviously referring to the original Alien Enemies Act that was signed back in 1798,” a White House statement said. “The recent Executive Order was personally signed by President Trump invoking the Alien Enemies Act that designated Tren de Aragua as a Foreign Terrorist Organization in order to apprehend and deport these heinous criminals.”

First of all, that’s a stupid excuse. Why would the president bring up the original act? Second, that contradicts the President’s statement that Secretary of State Marco Rubio had handled the deportations. Does anyone at the White House know what’s going on?

Yeah, that question is purely rhetorical.

Of course, lawsuits have already been filed in the new case. While attorneys and rights groups are justifiably alarmed, this latest order demonstrates how incapable and idiotic this administration is. The only thing for certain is that the insanity will continue.