RFK, Jr. Forecasts The Impossible

Some people have a difficult time admitting that they’re wrong, no matter how much evidence one piles in front of them. Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., is one of those people. Perhaps that worm in his head ate the part that recognizes evidence for what it is: fact. There’s also the chance that he has imposter syndrome hitting really hard after declaring this week that the MMR vaccine, which he’s been against for years, is actually the best way to fight the measles. You know it had to hurt for those words to come out of his mouth.

Now, he says that the nation’s top health agency will undertake a “massive testing and research effort” to determine the cause of autism. Not only has he said emphatically that they’re going to discover the cause, he says they’re going to do that by the end of September. Considering that no one has even come close to even establishing a range of possible causes, we’re rather inclined to laugh at the HHS Secretary. Again.

Autism is a developmental disability caused by differences in the brain. It presents with a wide range of symptoms that can include delays in language, learning, and social or emotional skills. While previously considered a childhood malady, data from last year shows that an increasingly large number of adults are getting tested to confirm whether they’ve been autistic and didn’t know it. For a lot of people, just having that as an explanation can be a relief.

There is a scientific consensus that vaccines DO NOT cause autism. The National Institutes of Health, which already spends more than $300 million yearly researching autism, lists some possible risk factors such as prenatal exposure to pesticides or air pollution, extreme prematurity or low birth weight, certain maternal health problems, or parents conceiving at an older age.

For some reason, that’s not enough, though. So, for those of you who still struggle to accept the facts, let us explain it to you carefully, like we would a five-year-old.

Okay, sweetie, let’s talk about those little shots you get at the doctor’s office, like maybe when you visit Dr. Smith here in Indianapolis.

You know how sometimes you get a little poke? That’s a vaccine! It’s like a tiny superhero shield for your body. It teaches your body how to fight off yucky germs that can make you feel really sick, like with a big cough or lots of spots. The vaccine helps your body practice fighting, so if the really bad germs come, your body knows exactly how to zap them away super fast! That helps keep you healthy so you can play and have fun.

Now, sometimes you might hear grown-ups talk about something called autism. Autism is just a different way some people’s brains work. You know how some friends might be really good at building tall towers, and some are super good at running fast? People with autism think and learn about the world in their own special way. It’s part of who they are, right from when they were tiny babies.

And here’s the important part: Those shots, the superhero shields, do not cause autism. We know this because lots and lots of very smart doctors and scientists, who care about keeping kids healthy, have looked at millions and millions – that’s a HUGE number! – of children all over the world.

They looked very, very carefully and saw that getting shots doesn’t change how a person’s brain works or make them have autism. It’s just not something that shots do! They are separate things. Shots help stop yucky germs, and autism is just a different way of being.

So, getting your shots is super important to keep your body safe and strong from those bad germs, and the doctors know they are safe for you and don’t change your amazing brain. They just help you stay healthy!

Are we clear now? I certainly hope so.