Dr. Influencer Will See You Now? Trump Taps Wellness Guru for Surgeon General in Stunning Move

Just when you thought the political appointments couldn’t possibly get more bizarre, President Felonious Punk has managed to top himself. In a move that screams “What the hell are you thinking?”, the administration abruptly yanked its nomination for Surgeon General, Dr. Janette Nesheiwat – a former Fox News contributor herself embroiled in controversy – only to replace her with… wait for it… Dr. Casey Means, a wellness influencer. Yes, you read that right. The potential next “nation’s doctor,” overseeing the 6,000 uniformed officers of the U.S. Public Health Service Corps, makes money hawking dietary supplements and teas on social media.  

Let’s rewind the tape on this masterclass in political maneuvering. Dr. Nesheiwat’s nomination apparently hit the skids partly because far-right activist Laura Loomer – let’s perhaps call her Laura Looney for accuracy here – screeched that Nesheiwat wasn’t “ideologically aligned” and, among other things, was a “nepo appointee” due to being the sister-in-law of recently departed National Security Adviser Michael Waltz. Never mind the simultaneous reports questioning Nesheiwat’s resume, specifically whether her medical degree came from Arkansas or the Caribbean (details!).  

But the hypocrisy here is breathtaking, even by current standards. HELLO?? IS ANYONE HOME?? While Loomer rails against “nepo appointees,” Punk pivots to nominate Dr. Casey Means, whose primary qualification, beyond a Stanford medical degree and an incomplete surgical residency, seems to be her extremely close ties to Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Her brother, Calley Means, isn’t just a supporter; he’s a top White House adviser to Kennedy, actively pushing the “Make America Healthy Again” (MAHA) agenda items like restricting food stamps and removing fluoride from water. Furthermore, the Means siblings reportedly served as key advisers to Kennedy’s presidential run and helped broker his eventual endorsement of Punk. If Dr. Means isn’t the walking definition of a “nepo baby” appointment, then the term has lost all meaning.  

But okay, let’s talk qualifications for the person meant to guide the nation’s public health. Dr. Means, after dropping out of her surgical residency because she was “disillusioned with traditional medicine,” co-founded a tech company peddling continuous glucose monitors and co-authored a book arguing that nearly every chronic illness (obesity, diabetes, infertility, depression, Alzheimer’s, erectile dysfunction – you name it!) stems from “metabolic dysfunction” caused by our modern lifestyle, processed foods, and presumably, a lack of good vibes and sponsored supplements.  

This is the “paper doctor,” who, by her own admission, pivoted away from the grind of actual patient care in traditional settings, now potentially put in charge of the Public Health Service Corps – the front line during national health emergencies. These are dedicated officers who make life-and-death decisions. Are we supposed to feel secure knowing their leader might be more comfortable recommending a new brand of green tea than coordinating a complex response to a novel virus? One shudders to imagine the scene: a deadly pandemic unfolds, and the Surgeon General is busy advising the public on the best vitamins to boost their “good energy” while criticizing the “medical establishment.”

Her views, which cast doubt on the established medical system and even echo dangerous skepticism about vaccine safety frameworks (she reportedly wants to make it easier to sue drugmakers for vaccine injuries, undermining decades of public health policy), align perfectly with the MAHA agenda being pushed by Secretary Kennedy. Forget decades of public health science; we’re apparently entering the era of government by podcast appearance and sponsored Instagram posts. Punk himself lauded her “impeccable ‘MAHA’ credentials,” making it clear this is about political alignment and a shared worldview with RFK Jr., not about proven experience managing large-scale public health crises.  

This isn’t just questionable judgment; it borders on grotesque negligence. To install someone with limited clinical experience beyond residency, no government experience, and a documented history of profiting from wellness products while questioning established medical practices into the role of Surgeon General is an insult to the dedicated professionals in the Public Health Service Corps. More critically, it’s a reckless gamble with the health and safety of millions of Americans.

The President seems perfectly willing to let the populace become test subjects for the potentially simplistic and commercially-tinged theories of Dr. Means and Secretary Kennedy, all apparently to appease a political faction or reward loyalty. When a President prioritizes influencer status and political connections over demonstrated competence in a role as critical as Surgeon General – arguably jeopardizing the health infrastructure of the entire nation – it’s not just bad politics. One has to seriously ask: isn’t this precisely the kind of reckless disregard for public well-being that constitutes an impeachable offense?

Forget waiting to see if the smoke clears; the appointment itself is a five-alarm fire signaling a dangerous disregard for expertise and a potential catastrophe for American public health.

Impeach.
Convict.
Remove.